Money and Friends

One rule I have always followed to my “friends’” dismay is that I have the habit of chipping in the last bit of money that is due from my side (though i don’t expect them to do so).

This is more of a habit and matter of personal choice than to do with anything about me being miser or “kanjoos” or worried about the money.

Infact, i won’t ask if someone owes me (ofcourse the amount has to be in consideration) but on the other hand, will go and pay it myself if there’s anything to be paid from my side. (I’ll make a lousy businessman…that’s why I wanna do a job)

That’s what happened recently. If you’ve been to Hyderabad, you’ll have heard of Karachi Biscuits which are “world famous in Hyderabad” and they are tasty too. A “friend” recently visited her sister and I had asked to get a box of biscuit for me. Of course, before she left I HAD mentioned that I’ll be paying the money though she must have taken it as a joke.

She’s back and the debate has begun.

Take your biscuits. No, first tell me, what’s the price. Shut up, and take it. No, what’s the price. Okay fine, don’t take it. Okay, as you wish!!!!

I may sound rude, and I am a li’l here…but they have to understand. I am paying it ‘cos I had asked for them…she’s bought it on my behalf…so I have to pay it right?

my only condition is –

Never bring any relations in money, and never bring money in any relation

which means – if there is something you owe to someone, go and give it yourself without taking it for granted that the person is your friend/relative. And if the friend/relative wants your help, never think of the amount when helping him/her.

Bad economics…I know. But for me, it’s one of those things that will not make my relationship with anyone sour. If i owe, I’ll pay. If you owe, it’s up to you whether you pay or not. what say!?

Adios,

Kunal

In My (not so humble) Opinion...

It's placement season at Alliance Business School for my batch...

After lot of deliberate thinking, being choosy, showing some attitude and after getting over my laziness, I applied for a famous 5 star hotel that had visited my campus (along with a surprise of 3 more colleges taking up the competition from 63 to 300 :O)

Anyway, bein my first interview, I was predictably anxious and a li'l nervous for the fact that I have given only 4 interviews so far and all were during my grad college placements at K.C. College, and got selected in Accenture (though i didn't take my offer letter and "unfornately" decided to come here). However, this was going to be my first management interview (if at all i cleared the preliminary rounds and all that shit)

OK, coming to the point. The Hotel's management who were supposed to come for the interview were late by 2 hours and so we had a break after spending an eternity in the seminar hall. As expected, once it was announced that the company will be coming a little later, I decided to go to my room to get freshen up and come back in a better, relaxed mood.

Alas, it wasn't going to be.

I met an ex-group mate, a person who doesn't really know what should be spoken where. Anyway, as i was on my way to my room and I saw her, as a matter of habit I waved my hand in a salaam and was about to leave. (why i did that..???). But no...bang came the questions!

Group mate - "Kunal, tumne bhi apply kara hain?" (Kunal, did you also apply for Hotel *****)

Me - "haan, meri pehli company where i am applying" (yeah, my first company....)

GM - But why?

Me - Huh?

GM - I mean, you're not for this company.

Me - Why so?

GM - I mean, I always thought you were for a cubicle sort of a thing, an office kind of guy. you are fit for some software engg thingy and should apply for those IT companies only!

Me - oh really???.. thanks for the motivation just before the interview...

GM - oh no no, i didn't mean that. i Just said it. It's my opinion. Best of luck. I am sure you'll get selected. (grin)

wow! That's what I was told just before my interview. Imagine. That in her opinion I am not eligible for a hospitality industry (the reasons - i don't socialize with many people for the sake of it, i don't go to parties where alcohol will be inevitable cos me being a non-drinker and other stuffs) And ya, I dont look good and handsome and fit for a 5 star hotel.

I let it go so as not to ruin my day. But the same thing happened when another ass-hole who has a habit of commenting on every damn thing even if he has got nothing to do with anything. He shares his name with the future prime minister of India (from Indian national Congress and the "baba" of politics these days)

He met me and his question (in Gujarati) - "Tu ***** ma bese che? pan mhane lagyo aa tara mate nathi. tu toh mothi company ma apply karwanu toh ne?"

(You sitting for this company? but i thought you are not fit for it. You were gonna sit for some big company na?)

I snapped at him. And with the anger went whatever li'l confidence I had mustered for the interview. As you can predict, I was not selected. I knew I was never was going to...but then, I lost in the most basic question - "tell me about yourself". I went blank, stuttered and finally said some shit ending up sounding like the biggest loser of the 12 candidates in the room!!!

the only lesson i learnt was - not to come across anyone for my next interview. and secondly, i will have to ask these "experts" if i should sit for any other company!!

I remember the quote from the movie - Home from holidays (1995) -

"Opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks."

Bythe way, that's my opinion too!! :D

Adios,

Kunal

P.S.: Please never interrupt anyone before his/her interview. It's a request! If you can't say good luck, then it's better you keep your effin' mouth shut! And this is my first and last post with the swearing. Sorry, but had to get the frustration out :D

Stalin's New post and my thoughts!!!

One of the bloggers from my college, Stalin Mohanty, has a penchant for writing simple yet amazing thoughts and can lead the reader to think about the realities of life. Though he sticks to marketing and other related topics, his one of the recent posts really triggered my thought process and made me comment on the post.

The original post and comment can be read here

I am re-posting the post and MY comment here too.

Stalin's Post -

Deepak: Stalin, you did not wish me on my birthday
Stalin : Oh, i am so sorry. Your birthday just went right.
Deepak: Anyways you forgot. That's the truth
Stalin : Why you removed your birth day stauts from Orkut
Deepak: I was just checking who were wishing without knowing it from Orkut, but i was expecting your call.
Stalin : I am really sorry. Belated happy birthday.

This is a part of my conversation with my friend Deepak two days after his birth day. No body can deny the fact that we are used to web,internet and social networking sites now a days. I can even say that we are totally dependent on internet. Previously we have to remember so many things , but now no need. On social networking sites friend's,relatives birth day keep coming and we simply by watching that wish them. But if someone will hide his/her birth day status, then we will not be able to wish him/her. There comes the problem. The person who may be expecting your wish will definitely feel bad. Because emotion plays a very crucial role in every human's life. Unintentionally we will keep hurting our beloved persons. What can i term this fault of human or technology?

MY comment -

What was the last time we left our room without our mobile phone!?
What was the last time we spent an entire day without checking our emails?
what was the last time we had a "real" conversation with out loved ones!

There are many such questions one can ask him/herself and get into an introspection mode without getting any answer. The worst part is, we don't feel guilty of losing out on our human touch today. We feel "illiterate" if we do not have the knowledge of the latest social networking site. Most of us have 200+ friends on Orkut and Facebook. But how many will come to us when we need. If someone doesn't poke us on Facebook or send an Application request for a long time, we ignore him 'cos he's ain't a friend of us anymore. This is the reality of our life today.

I have altered the definition of Friends as - A contact whom you prominently see on your social networking profile list. That's it. There ain't no real friends no more. Many of you might disagree, but think of the time you last forgot everything else - your cell, smses, mails, and just sat down and let your heart out to a person.

We have become skeptical of humans. We find solace in playing Farmville. We get the kick by playing Mafia wars. But we do not have the time to remember our friends' birthdays. Technology empowers us to gain knowledge, but imprisons us in it's claws.

Nice post Stalin. Keep it up.

What I find is that we have slowly detached ourselves from others. But that's not the core of the problem. The problem is we are detached from our true self too. It is not the fault of anyone but us.


Regards,
Kunal

Movin' on!

It wasn’t easy,

Oh it never was!

I’ve wasted 3 years, fighting for a lost cause…

Finally have understood somethin’, should’ve known that long back…

When I was thrown out like a rug-o-sack,

But whatever it is, whatever it was, I have decided to move on..

We’ll meet someday again, but not as friends…

‘Cause ...

Have turned away, left the past behind...

Stopped seekin’ FRIENDS I know I’ll never find...

Movin' on - this is my END!

It is no one to be blamed but me,

You all were a part of my fantasy,

I have never been good, I have always faulted

I have always clung on to you, when you never wanted…

Finally I have learned my lesson, I promise not to repeat,

Guys so long, I’ll not bother you again, ‘cause

Have turned away, left the past behind...

Stopped seekin’ FRIENDS I know I’ll never find...

Movin' on - this is my END!

Those were some great days, I thoroughly enjoyed them,

Some moments of ecstasy, fun and a few of shame,

I was rude, selfish, and a big time bore…

You always gave me love, but I kept askin’ for more..

Without givin it back, what was I thinkin’,

Oh! May be ‘cause I was smitten by someone, I hold on to her clingin’,

She never really liked me, I remained in hallucinations,

I suffered a lot, not ‘cause of her, but of me,

I shouldn’t have done some stuff I did,

But now,

Have turned away, left the past behind...

Stopped seekin’ FRIENDS I know I’ll never find...

Movin' on - this is my END!

I apologize for the moments, I gave y’all trouble,

Had a lot of dreams, but reality has burst that bubble…

I always wished, if the time turns back, there are mistakes I’ll rectify ,

But now I don’t wanna do that, I’ll just say goodbye…

I had many complaints, but have realized they were all with me,

So please guys for once accept my apology, and……

Finally,

Have turned away, left the past behind...

Stopped seekin’ FRIENDS I know I’ll never find...

Movin' on - this is my END!

Adios,

Regards,

Kunal Lodha

Is it wrong to expect! ?

I know even before you read, you are thinkin' - No kunal, it isnt wrong to expect...but you shouldn't expect TOO much!

Yeah yeah, I know! TOO much is Baaayyyd! but what exactly IS too much!?

when you call someone a friend, you do stuffs for them but all they gotta do is to hang out with people who are more fun, have good jokes to say and make fun off others behind their backs - not knowing that behind your back the same persons say disgusting things about YOU too!!!

I had a discussion about this with two other people a few days back! mr S and ms S!

We all had experienced problems with expectations - one of us experiencing it recently. And we kept telling to each other - see, you shouldn't expect this, that the world's selfish, that being alone is better, this, that, blah blah blah! I felt good to give such gyan and then what happens? I come into my room and start expecting that these people with whom I have shared my thoughts will understand why I am such a disgusting person! or rather a loser something what they call me!

I know its ironical but then that's what human tendency is. You just cant stop expecting. Okay, like me you wont be expecting much of people you talk to or share similar tastes - but you do expect it from your parents and family and if you're lucky to have some people you call friends!

You might think - 'nah man, it ain't true. I really don't expect anything from anyone. I am all fine by myself. I don't need anyone......'. But that's the biggest lie you are telling and that too not to me but to yourself. Imagine you doing everything for your roomie or friend - remembering his/her birthday, buying gifts, getting all emotional when s/he is leaving, or coming back, etc! all those emotional and foolish things you do to see that charming smile on their faces. And IF you don't get something, or you see them not spending time with you, or getting busy or just not in mood - you'll put on a brave face of understanding, go sit on your computer surfing. But in your heart, you're feeling bad. I know you do. and you know it too. That's because you expect. You expect to be loved back. You expect to be get the same or better treatment what you give to others. You expect it and accept it people!

That's what i do. I expect the same treatment - not better but just the same kind of gestures from people. Nothing more, nothing less! And there's nothing great I do that can't be given back. But then, my bigggest problem is that I am not a fun person you can hang out with right. And because being a bore is a criminal offence under "Society Laws - 101", I should be punished. I should just give and not expect back. Just because I don't fit into your scheme of things, I don't deserve to expect. I just don't deserve it...oh yeah!!

And it is wrong. Yeah, I know my blog title says that freedom means not to expect anything. but I don't know if I ll ever be able to get to that point. Iwish Icould. But I also know I wouldn't! only if Ayn Rand were alive!



Adios!

Regards,
Kunal Lodha

P.S.: My blogs getting depressing day by day. I think I need a break!! :)

दोस्त!

एक दोस्त की तलाश में,

आज भी अपने आप को आजमाता हूँ,

जहाँ देखी भीड़,

दौड़के पहुँच जाता हूँ,

सोचता हूँ कोई तो जाना पहचाना सा चेहरा दिख जाए,

कोई तो हो वहां जिसको हम याद आ जाए,

पर सब कुछ रुखा सा, अनजाना सा लगता हैं...

कुछ नही अपना, सब बेगाना सा लगता हैं,

सामने मिलती हैं वो सुखी नज़रें,

जिनमें भयानक सी हँसी छिपी हैं,

जो हँसती हैं मेरी बेबसी पर, मेरी तन्हाई पर ,

भीड़ में हैं वो लोग...

जो कहने को दोस्त, पर दुश्मन से बद्दतर है,

जिनकी ज़बान पे प्यार, और हाथ में खंजर हैं,

चेहरे पे हसी, पर दिल में कुछ और,

प्यार भरे शब्दों में अपनी नफरत छिपाके

मुझे अपने साथ रखते हैं, बुलाते हैं

पहले जानता नहीं, पर अब,

उन्हें देखके डर सा लगता हैं,

भाग जाऊँ यहाँ से, सिर्फ़ यह ख्याल मन में चलता हैं,

पर...

इतनी हिम्मत नही मुझमें, इतनी हिम्मत नहीं!

मैं...

नज़रें झुकाके चल देता हूँ अपने कमरे की ओर

पीछे उस भयानक हँसी की गूंज सुनाई पड़ती हैं,

सभी खुश हैं अपनों के साथ, फ़िर भी हैं एक दुसरे के ख़िलाफ़,

सभी जानते हैं यह, सभी मानते हैं यह,

सिर्फ़ मैं ही अनाडी था, समझ नहीं पाया....

दोस्त बनाने चला था, पर हमेशा की तरह

मुंह की खाया...

खैर...

चलते हुए उस हँसी को सुनके,

अपने अन्दर एक चीख का एहसास होता हैं

दिल में एक टीस सी उठती हैं

आँखें भर सी आती हैं ...सब कुछ धुंधला लगता हैं,

किसी तरह कदम संभलके कमरे में पहुँचता हूँ

बिस्तर पे लेट के हर दिन को कोसता हूँ

एक बार नही यह बार बार होता हैं

दिल हर बार यह सहके रोता हैं....

यह पता हैं शिकायत भी नहीं कर सकता ख़ुदा से,

इसमें किसी का दोष नहीं

पर

कौन समझाए इस दिल को,

कौन रोके इसकी तलाश...

क्योंकि

जिस दोस्त की तलाश इसको हैं,

वो तो कब का मर चुका हैं!

Regards,

Kunal Lodha

Lost!

i had lost you, years ago,

but the strange thing is -

now i don't want you back,

i don't want anything bright here, or white here,

i m now used to black,

i am used to the darkness,

the hopelessness,

the loneliness...

the never ending tunnel of despair,

my life got screwed such,

that nobody can repair!

i don't want you, o smile!

you better be lost...



you know na why were you lost,

'cause some friends took you away,

friends - the word, the illusion that doesn't exist

anyway,

they took you, and you went along,

singing that goddamn song,

and i was left here,

with tears,

with hopes,

that you would return...

but you didn't, oh damn you!

you didn't!

i waited and waited, and finally...

i lost!

i lost my battle with sadness,

it has empowered me,

tortured me...BUT!



but tell you what ? i am also through...

i don't want you,

now do whatever you can do!

let people ask "kunal, don't you smile ?"

i ll say happily,

no i don't,

i don't, i don't, i don't!!



P.S.: This is dedicated to my college people from K.C. College.